Food Faking

Isola Vulcano, Aeolian Islands

We’ve all been there haven’t we?  Tourist food and travellers’ fast foods!  At least you mostly know what you are in for.  When you order the famous local “slow cooked” speciality and receive pan fried pork pieces, doused in carton mushroom cream sauce and garnished with a couple of hard dried figs, well, you know you’ve been had.  We’ve been lucky so far though and enjoyed quite a few encouraging local dining experiences.  

Are you sure you asked for pizza?

We thought we’d found the perfect spot to celebrate another of the Ancient Mariner’s (many) birthdays.  The setting was right – on the water’s edge, with a little dinghy dock.  Bruce took us to the door, almost.  The place was busy and the food looked good.  Little did we know we were in for a “Faulty Towers does Sicily” experience.

The harbour looked so inviting!

We were slow to be seated, hardly surprising given the restaurant’s popularity.  However, even then, things started to go awry.  Our table, in a prime spot overlooking the water, had apparently been reserved and we had to move.  The Cap’n grumbled.  A grovelling maître-d found us another table – down in the take-away pizza area but none-the-less with a water view.  And then we waited, and waited and waited.

Birthday Boy

To compensate for this neglect we were suddenly surrounded by imperious waiters, offered discounts on our meal (we hadn’t even ordered yet!) and proffered plates of appetisers as tempting “typical Sicilian starters” to keep the boiling Cap’n happy.  We weren’t offered a menu but rather told what we were to eat.  This charade had something to do with translating Italian to English (we think).  The Cap’n steamed.  Finally, out of the chaos, our order was settled and we asked for a glass of wine.  Then we waited. 

 
The appetiser and entrée arrived at the same time, plonked on the table. Eventually, our mains arrived, first separately, then finally together (after waiting) but when the Cap’n asked for another glass of wine – we waited again.  Giving up, we called for the bill.  It arrived with promptness not previously experienced.  We paid up and left.  They could wait for a tip….

We suspect a waiter is still running round tables trying to find who ordered that glass of wine.

And there's even a free beach here too!
But only the worst & hardest area to access...